Book Rec/Grass is Always Greener Poem

You may remember a few blogs ago – my first maybe – that I mentioned The Kite Runner. So, yes, it’s been a while, but I’m finally done. It’s good, but hold onto your socks because it can be intense. No worries, though, since the only particularly tough part is the last 79.24% of the book. (If you don’t know me, that statistic is supposed to be funny. If you do know me, you know that’s supposed to be funny even if it’s not.)

I just thought I’d throw The Kite Runner out there as a recommendation for those looking for a good, intense read.

I know that you haven’t seen the earlier poetry from Poems from a Cubicle, but below is the newest addition. I freely admit that the flow/rhythm sounds a bit forced, but that’s actually what it was. So, it’s really kind of fitting. Plus I will never claim to be a great poet, but I do believe there’s value in trying to express yourself through words no matter how bad it is!

“Greener Grass”

Here I sit in a fading office,
Ready to dream, yet ‘way from detail, profits.
Where can I go, where a muse is reality?
Where can I be, when a sung song sets you free?

It is not here, my heart softly speaks.
Remember once, years past on that mountain peak…
Yes, I voice. We freely sang Songs from the Loft,
And saw treasures from God ‘cross the view so soft.

Quickly I see I’m stuck in the past,
While there’s nothing that says those years were a blast.
So what can I do while I crunch mad numbers?
I’ll wake myself up from nightmarish slumber.

Now I key in business freely.
No time for drifting ‘way from veracity.
Now I sit by keyboard, creating new dreams.
Singing fresh praises for life as my heart beams.

Running and Basketball

Okay, I have nothing great to say. I would hate to go too long without blogging at all, though. Since today is Wednesday, I updated my accountability tracker. I'm up .6 lbs from Week 0, but was down .6 lbs. last week. That's a one week increase of 1.2 lbs.

So, what did I do differently this week to gain weight? Oh...I started running again. So, yes, it's just a coincidence, and probably just has to do with how quickly I digest certain foods, how much water I have, etc... But it's still frustrating. It really shows that it's a good time to have started running!

Additionally, I can't believe the NCAA tournament is starting again. Work has been going 110 mph, Charlie's on his way, there's a lot going on at church, Leadership Academy is going fast and furious, amongst other things. I haven't really had much time at all to think about it. But tomorrow it all starts. It should be great. My top 4 NCAA basketball teams made the tournament: Indiana, Baylor, Memphis, Texas.

Peace...

Controversial Topic...Easily angered please turn away!

Today’s entry should be a bit controversial, but I’ve really wanted to write this ever since I got back from NY. Please note that I grew up in the Washington DC area. DC makes the Massachusetts political outlook seem like the Deep South. So, my liberal friends could be deeply offended by one aspect of this, and my conservative friends could be deeply offended by another. I hope neither is true…kind of.

I’ll skip half of the background/set-up, and jump right into the fact that I was at La Guardia airport at 5:30 in the morning getting ready to fly to Memphis. At the airport Starbucks, a couple of men introduced themselves since I was standing nearby and had understood their Spanish conversation.

Quickly, his friend steered us not only into politics, but also religion. Incidentally, this is not a topic that you’re supposed to have with a stranger – especially not in the North! Well, they let me know they were not Christians, and gave some loose reasons. One of the two men seemed openly flamboyant, but I had no intention of assuming they were gay. I don’t know if it was before or after he called me “cute” that he did confirm that they "were not straight."

So, here was the great opportunity, and my whole point for this entry. In my opinion, and regardless of the issue of sin, the homosexual community is one that is too often shunned by Christians. I wanted these men (one of which was clearly not open to Christianity, and the other of which was fading fast on a Vicadin) to know that I was no more worthy of being a Christian than anyone else. It is only by God’s grace that we are saved. To me, we all need a starting point with God – prayer and reading the Bible. Once you get to know God, he will guide us. I want to illustrate worthiness this point of worthiness by talking about our last Nathan Street.

This was the first Nathan Street since the Lester massacre. Brian did a great job talking to the kids about how God tells us to love everyone. After asking questions about how this man could kill his brother, cut off the fingers of children, kill/attempt to kill 9 people in such a gruesome manner; one child said, “sometimes it’s hard to love people.” For those of you who don’t know Nathan Street…these kids live in the same neighborhood as the Lester Street massacre ("Lester Street Massacre" can easily be googled since it made national news last week). They interact with Dotson’s gang, and probably know, or at least went to school with some of the dead children. So, we had the gumption to tell the kids that God calls us to love even this murderer. Therefore, if you believe homosexuality is a sin, shouldn’t you love that person anyway? That’s the easy answer: yes. The hard part about being a Christian is that, eventually you must recognize that you will never be sinless in this world on your own, and that it is impossible to remain blameless without Jesus Christ.

So, yes, the way I read the Bible, homosexuality is a sin, but (and this blog was never intended to be a personal confessional) there are so many things that I do/have done that are sins too. I believe that, as a sinner, I am no more worthy of God than a gay man/woman. When I overcome one sin, others become evident too. This is why I am so grateful that God chooses to show us mercy regardless of whether we deserve it or not. We just need to walk with him. I believe Christians should deal with sin at the point that someone is committed to seeing what it means to follow God. And I believe that it isn’t up to us, as sinners, to choose who deserves God.

In case you’re curious, (I eluded to this earlier) at most I planted a seed with one of these men - I saw no conversions. Still, God can choose to work in mysterious ways so they may still become Christians. One of the best ways to evangelize, though, is to love the person, get to know him/her and care about him/her. At that point, the person would have a better chance of being receptive to a Christian message.

Okay, my blog is usually an “I don’t care if you like this or not, it’s really about just expressing my thoughts” blog. Today, I’m actually nervous about posting it. Yikes! Okay, that’s all I have.

10 Things About Me

I was tagged to do the below list. So, I apologize if you don’t really care about any of the below information.

10 interesting things about me:

1. Many of you know this, but I love Ultimate Frisbee. There’s nothing quite like hucking the bee, snagging the disc, laying out. Oh, and when you actually are playing it helps you to get in shape!

2. I enjoy photography. I try shooting pictures at unusual angles, framing them 10 different ways, and taking 20 different pictures. Unfortunately, my talent is not natural so I might take 100 pictures, and still not have a good one!

3. I have started two novels, and not finished or made much progress on either. Actually, I think one is lost forever since I started it 11 years ago!

4. One of the proudest moments of my Chad-centered life was playing a solo at Baylor called “Nicole” on my trumpet in front of a couple of hundred or more people. Lindley and I weren’t even dating, but she came to support me. It was not my best performance, but I still thought it sounded almost professional.

5. I am an insurance broker, and, if you would like to learn about Texas Non-Subscription versus Texas Workers’ Compensation, I’d be happy to chat with you.

6. I am a huge fan of snow!

7. I once ate 167 jalapeño slices in a jalapeño eating contest, and the guy next to me hadn’t even broken a sweat. Fortunately, they called the contest after two hours, and we both won a t-shirt. Go Baylor Athletics!

8. One day Lindley bet her dad that I could eat 5 Big Macs in 20 minutes. A few days later, when I found out, I ate 5 Big Macs…in 12 minutes. This was followed by 6 Whoppers on two different occasions while driving to Ultimate tournaments. 12 years later, I now have to have an accountability tracker on my blog to get my weight back in shape. Go figure.

9. I once bench-pressed 335 lbs. Now I wouldn’t be able to get near that.

10. One time, in band camp…just kidding. I’m happier than ever, love my family and am looking forward to son number 2!

A supplement to my last entry

I have been traveling for a couple of days, and find it quite odd that in New York when I left the temp was about 50 degrees, and upon my return to Memphis, at what should be a warmer period of the day, it was 10-15 degrees cooler.

There's not a lot to report, but we're expecting some snow over the next few hours. I'm really looking forward to that. Hopefully, we get some good accumulation so that our sick child can play in it!

Incidentally, I have had multiple comments about my last entry. Any comments about it being tough to understand, please do not credit to me. That is John Donne. Granted, he is brilliant with his words, but this is "metaphysical poetry." By definition, it is supposed to be complex and difficult to understand. I won't bore you by copying the whole description here, but if you would like to further understand the elements, follow this link (and then scroll to "metaphysical poetry:" http://www.virtualsalt.com/litterms.htm

Here's the point before I try to break it down a little bit: I had to read this poem multiple times, and had to read it slowly, in order to understand the parts of it that I do understand. I first read the poem almost 15 years ago, so I've had a lot of time to think about it.

A brief attempt to break down one part of the poem is below.

"By itself, metaphysical means dealing with the relationship between spirit to matter or the ultimate nature of reality." (ref. http://www.eng.fju.edu.tw/English_Literature/period/metaphysicals.html)

What Donne does in the poem is to represent the desires of the heart (the 'spirit' as referenced above) through some physical manifestation. The clearest example that I recall is the compass metaphor. Okay, it might help to know what the "twin compasses" is. It's that tool that you would use to draw a perfect circle. So he illustrates that as one point of the compass distances itself from the other, they are still tied together and even leaning toward the other, almost calling out for each other. This is the way our hearts, as husband and wife, yearn for each other.

Forbidding Valediction

Again, I have found no true direction for my blog so I will continue with a random, but important expression.

John Donne is the only metaphysical poet that has ever jumped out at me. I will give you a portion of “A Valediction Forbidding Mourning” because it speaks of love. It speaks of true, deep, profound love. (The poem is also about life, death, emotion and probably quite a bit that I don’t grasp, so I am only referencing a portion of it. The entire poem will be below the excerpt for your optional perusal.)

Many of my friends now have children, and I’ve been noticing how all of the attention turns to the children. Our children’s self-confidence may grow as they receive this from outsiders (grandparents, friends, co-workers), but I don't believe that it should be the same for the parents. Though God has increased our love through the love from parenthood, I choose to forbid valediction to the love He has given us as spouses. So, here’s to true, deep, profound love, and to Lindley who has shown me the same. I leave the following (explicit material ahead, for the faint of heart, please turn away now):

“But we by a love so much refined,
That ourselves know not what it is,
Inter-assurèd of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss. 20
…

“If they be two, they are two so 25
As stiff twin compasses are two ;
Thy soul, the fix'd foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if th' other do.

“And though it in the centre sit,
Yet, when the other far doth roam, 30
It leans, and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.

“Such wilt thou be to me, who must,
Like th' other foot, obliquely run ;
Thy firmness makes my circle just, 35
And makes me end where I begun.”

Full poem below:
A VALEDICTION FORBIDDING MOURNING. by John Donne

AS virtuous men pass mildly away,
And whisper to their souls to go,
Whilst some of their sad friends do say,
"Now his breath goes," and some say, "No."

So let us melt, and make no noise, 5
No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move ;
'Twere profanation of our joys
To tell the laity our love.

Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears ;
Men reckon what it did, and meant ; 10
But trepidation of the spheres,
Though greater far, is innocent.

Dull sublunary lovers' love
—Whose soul is sense—
cannot admit Of absence, 'cause it doth remove 15
The thing which elemented it.

But we by a love so much refined,
That ourselves know not what it is,
Inter-assurèd of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss. 20

Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to aery thinness beat.

If they be two, they are two so 25
As stiff twin compasses are two ;
Thy soul, the fix'd foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if th' other do.

And though it in the centre sit,
Yet, when the other far doth roam, 30
It leans, and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.

Such wilt thou be to me, who must,
Like th' other foot, obliquely run ;
Thy firmness makes my circle just, 35
And makes me end where I begun.